Instinctive Paranoia

There are creatures in this forest aplenty; all of which play their role. Without a mind, they act with no need of thought. There are deeds and that is it. No vice exists for such beasts; only virtue by design. Yet they play their roles all passively, lacking utterly of any form of overt individuality. This was the gift that was offered to man. A chance to form something else; a ghost within an organic machine. It was made up of finer materials, not visible to the eye like skin and bones. It would conjure written sounds and symbols both inside and out, and drift away from the present, engrossed in thought, in a fashion until him unknown. A new space was created; a void filled with entities of an altogether different nature.

There is an attitude behind the man which colours everything that comes out of his mouth or renders his actions with their particular hue of quality. It is more significant than his actual words or actions, for it is the environment that fills his entire being with the juice which form his thoughts, emotions and sensations. In such a way we can describe attitudes in and of themselves as being, for example, honest or dishonest. An attitude wired to the survival backdrop of an instinctive being which, knowingly or not, does everything to preserve and prosper amidst the social order, will be coloured by these instincts. His attitude will directly reflect this wired design so that if it is based on striving for certainty of survival, than his attitudes will exude a flavour of certainty as well.

There is always this distinction — the space from the particles. The room from the furniture. If one’s attitude is about being right, so that an outer display of inner certainty reflects this instinctive drive to secure external security and stability, then one’s behaviour will reflect that. It is irrelevant what a man says if you ask him of his values,  no matter how poignantly he cheers of his noble list of ideals, such as integrity and respect for others. If the attitude behind all of these words is based on something beneath the surface, a point of view which follows orders upon the whim of instincts rather than a man’s personality, then it will follow a path which altogether ignores a man’s personal opinion of himself.

Consider what this implies! His attitude is based on certainty, which means the words, thoughts and ideas that are shared with others and himself will often be said in such a way, regardless of their objective validity, as to convince the other (and himself) that he knows what he is talking about. It is a hypnotic snare which traps an individual to believe that he knows what often he in fact does not. A man will have a look in his eyes, as if having drunk from a cup of delicious wine, which relays quite clearly to the other that he is an authority on the subject, and that his words, however absurd, must be given due respect and regard. For if the man be disbelieved outright, his perceived position in the status quo will be threatened. The man must dance, bearing glib and clever features, regardless of whether what is conveyed is true or how much of it is based on the reality of his own experience.

These attitudes, or inner themes, take on other forms related to this inner instinctive paranoia. There are quiet moments when a man lowers his shoulders and recognizes his actual worth. He knows he is like everyone else and that the specialness he ascribes to himself is a show which is somehow thrust upon him like a zealous mask, with all its motions powered by some external force. This in turn perpetuates the hidden fear of being found out and discovered as someone who has been overhyped in the market of social affairs. Hence his behaviour will reflect this ever more potent momentum of fear, where he will act less readily and more reticent when the time comes to prove himself in challenging opportunities. The facade will look upon such moments with both glee and fear, as uncertainty and potential failure weigh upon him heavy.


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